Happy 5th Birthday, Avery! August 1, 2009

It is so hard to believe that Avery is turning 5 already.   She has been so excited for this birthday to come, and I have to be honest, I have been too.  I think I sort of survive the toddler years, which I’m sure is a horrible thing to say.  They fly by and there is  fun in watching each child learn new things and become the little person that they are.  But it’s soooo hard!  I’ve always “joked” that I would have a ton of kids if I could have them from newborn to 1, then have someone else take them and then get them back again at 4.  Yeah, I know… CPS is on its way…!  (All I can say is that they can spend a morning with Tessa and they’ll agree… but it’s not her story today,so.)

Avery.  She has grown into such a sweet little girl!  She has grown up so much this past year with her emotional and social maturity.  She has learned that now she’s a big sister too, not just a little sister, and she cherishes the role and does it very well… most of the time.  She has learned how to write her name and her ABC’s.  Avery has learned how to be a good sharerer (her word) and how to talk when she doesn’t get her way- instead of constantly melting down.  She has learned that mom and dad really mean what they say.  She has learned to take responsibility for her things and herself and her actions.

I’m guessing that I’m not the only adult that is still working on a lot of these things.  It amazes me how I am constantly being humbled that I don’t get half of this right all the time.  Kids have an amazing way of teaching us that we are still learners too.  And they have a much nicer way of teaching it than I do.  Avery loves to remind me that I am her “favorite mommy EVER!” and that she loves me “every day, and every night, and every sight.”  Love this girl!!!

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY, AVERY CLARE!!

watching July 15, 2009

I have decided that the hardest thing about parenting may not be potty-training after all… although that still holds a close second.  The hardest part is watching your child’s heart get broken.

You can do your best to keep them from getting skinned knees, getting a splinter, getting run over by a car… but you can’t really keep them from getting their heart broken.

This year I have watched one of my sweet kids navigate through friendships, growing, and maturing.  I have watched my child lose their best friend this year because the friend chose an older kid over my child.   I have watched cliques form around my child.  I have watched my child get confused because they’ve never thought they can only have 1 or 2 friends, and now they are left wondering what is wrong with them that no one will play with them.  I have watched my child get bullied because my child is trying to treat the other child the right way rather than retaliate.  I have watched my child retaliate only to be the kid who got into trouble.

This year I have watched my child make friends with whoever they came into contact with- including the child sitting next to them on the bench waiting for their swim heat’s turn.  I have watched my child be a friend to someone who isn’t like them.  I have watched my child help a friend overcome something they were scared of.  I have watched my child be a kind, helpful, loving sibling.  I have watched my child make the choice to tell the truth- even though it got them into trouble (see retaliation).  I have watched my child succeed at something they didn’t think they could do.

I never imagined before I became a parent how much more my heart would break when my child’s heart was broken.  But I also never imagined how incredibly proud I would be of my child when they overcame, when they succeeded, when they fought their way through, when they made the right choice.

Happy Father’s Day! June 21, 2009

Happy Father’s Day to my love!  Thank you for being such a big part of our kids’ lives: from making Trey’s year by taking him on a camping trip to coaching Karis’ soccer team and giving her such a fun time playing to loving on Avery with all of her fun-loving quirkiness to getting up early and cuddling with Tessa who loves you so much- even if she won’t say it!  You make our lives fun, secure, happy and challenging.  THANK YOU!!!

We all love you!!

Happy Birthday, Karis! May 24, 2009

It is so hard to believe 8 years has passed by since the birth of this sweet girl!  She is our second born, our first daughter, our second mother, and our sweet Karis.

She has been such a light in our life!  Karis is definitely the “firstborn daughter” in many ways.  She helps with her younger sisters whenever needed.  She is confident and a leader.  She loves to please her teachers and follow rules… in school…   She loves to help out at home with cooking and taking care of things.  She is an avid reader and loves to be creative and artistic.  She loves her friends to pieces and its fun to see her make good choices of who she wants to spend her time with.  If you asked her today what she wants to be when she grows up (and I know this because she was just asked!) she will tell you, “I want to be a cooking teacher because then I get to cook and teach which are all the things I love to do!”

Yeah, I’m pretty proud of this sweet 8 year old!!

Eyes Opened (at least a crack) May 21, 2009

The other day I was renewing our cars’ registrations online because, as always, I had waited until the last minute.  Seriously, what did people do before online billpay??  If they’re anything like me, they paid a lot of late fees.  But anyway.

As I was pulling out the mailing from the DMV, I noticed a new rule/law/something that has gone into effect that actually rewarded me for my procrastination!!  It was actually cheaper to renew online than in person at the DMV.  They actually charge you MORE to go out of your way, wait forever and then finally get a turn to do something that takes all of 5 minutes to complete.  I was ecstatic!

But the funny thing is, within seconds my happiness dissipated.  Why?  Because when I happily reported my “accomplishment” to Brent, he quickly pointed out the unfortunate truth.  While the DMV is trying to save money in their operations by not needing as many employees available (and therefore trying to get people to stay OUT of the DMV), they are actually hurting the most vulnerable of our society.  The poor.  They are hurting those who don’t have enough money for computer/internet access (not to mention bank accounts and credit cards) by charging them more to appear at their office.  I’m guessing I’m not the only person who despises having to go into the DMV.  Can you imagine willingly paying extra money for the obligation?  But there are people who don’t have a choice.  And unfortunately they don’t have the extra money to spare either.

I am sure that whoever came up with the plan to cut costs for the DMV didn’t intentionally try to harm this part of our community.  But I wonder how many other ways we unknowingly harm those less fortunate than us simply because we don’t take them into consideration.

First Put On Your Oxygen Mask May 7, 2009

I was at the gym working out today when a neighbor (and mother of 2) came up to me and asked, “How do you stay so calm all the time with all those kids?”  After I stopped laughing long enough to answer, I said simply, “Why do you think I’m here??”  (Uhh… besides the free childcare… it’s honestly a lot easier to be calm when my kids aren’t in my direct line of vision/hearing.)

After telling this neighbor that I am definitely not  calm all the time I told her about my husband asking me kindly last night, “You haven’t been to the gym this week, have you?”  Now, before you get offended and think it has anything to do with my physical appearance, allow me to get offended and explain that it has to do with my emotional wellbeing.  It was his way of saying, “You’re being a real *bleep*- you need to go workout.”

It’s true.  Working out has a lot to do with how I feel and act and react.  I’m sure a more knowledgeable person could explain the specifics of what gets released in your body to make this happen, but I just know that for me it works.  And while I could get all guilty feeling for being selfish and taking the time for myself and letting someone in the gym’s childwatch take care of my children, etc. (trust me, I learned well from my mom… I can feel REALLY guilty about not being a good mom, and its one of many excuses that’s kept me out of the gym some days) I’m choosing to put on my oxygen mask first.  You know the drill before every single plane ride when the flight attendant tells you that if the oxygen mask falls from the ceiling, FIRST put on YOUR mask, then assist others in need… or something like that.  It’s because if you can’t breathe and pass out, you can’t very well help anyone around you, right?

Isn’t that the opposite of what we do as moms?  We worry about those around us.  We put them first all the time and take care of them before (if ever) we take of ourselves.   Sometimes to the point of passing out… or at the least, being a less than healthy person.

Well, maybe this Mother’s Day we can all take a step together.  (Or if you happen to be the Dad reading this, help your wife do this…)  First put on your oxygen mask.  Do something that helps you relax/ heal/ rejuvenate/ enjoy the day and your family more.  Don’t let the guilt creep in, just enjoy.   I’m guessing that like my family, in turn they will enjoy you more too!

Everybody needs an Expert May 5, 2009

Like every stay-at-home mom, some days I could be happy running off to work outside the home.  But then I would miss conversations like this:

Sitting outside with Avery, 4, enjoying the spring day

Avery: “Mom, can I have some of your apple?”

Me: “Sure”

A: “I’m going to let the ants eat it.”

M: “You are?”

A: “Yeah, cuz I’m an expert.  Mackenzie (best friend, also 4) and I are experts.  I’m an expert on ants.  Ants like to eat apples… and cake… and… all food!  They eat all the food all up.  Yep.  That’s what they do.  See?  I told you I was an expert on ants.”

Not So Innocent May 1, 2009

I got to be “that” mom today.  What joy.

A little while ago, when Brittney Spear’s new album came out, parents all over were furious.  It seems that their little kiddos were singing the lyrics to one of her songs and they weren’t happy about it.  Now, I have to admit… the thought I had at the time was, “Well, you are letting your kids listen to Britney Spears…”  I don’t know about you, but the woman (hard to believe, but yes… she’s a woman now) is an adult, a mom herself.  She can sing whatever she wants.  I believe that it’s my job as a mom to not let my kids listen to inappropriate stuff.  And I don’t think it takes a ton of common sense to not consider Ms. Spears a suitable role model.  So, I can’t really say it upset me that she had this particular song out. 

Well, today as my children’s entire elementary school and most of their parents were outside at field day, a particular song came over the loud speakers.  I froze.  I seriously couldn’t believe that they were playing this song.  I started asking my friends around me if they knew the song and no one knew.  Well… I explained it to them.  And then I realized with the look of shock on their faces that I had to go be “that” mom.  I had to go tell the dude running the sound system that I didn’t think it was appropriate for elementary age. 

So what’s so bad?  The song is “If You Seek Amy.”  Seems innocent enough, right?  Well, here’s the chorus… might take you a minute if you haven’t heard it, but *hint* say the title fast at the end… you’ll get it.

“love me, hate me, say what you want about me, but all the boys and all the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy.”

Needless to say, “sound system dude” was a bit embarrassed after I had to explain it to him.  Appears Ms. Spears is still not so innocent.  Not that I ever expected her to be.  But now I have a new “fun” reputation at my kids’ school.

More than Friends April 27, 2009

We got away!!  Brent and I spent the weekend in Birmingham, Alabama… without the kids!  Brent officiated the wedding for some sweet friends, Stephen and Ashley.  The joke of the weekend (well, one of them) was how many years of “he/she is just a friend” that they went through before they realized that maybe they were more than that.

The whole weekend had that theme though.  As we were reunited with some amazing friends from our past years in Williamsburg, we realized that they are all much more than friends in our life, they are our family.  The years and the miles don’t change how deeply we care for each of them.

The best part of the weekend (for us anyway… I’m guessing the bride and groom might have other ideas…) was spending time with all of these friends that we love so much.  Stephen’s family has been such a big part of our lives over the years.  They have been extended family to us as we started our little family (at the time!) away from our own families .  We had our first two kids in Williamsburg and Kim, Theresa and Lindsay would babysit them while Katie and Stephen would go to youth group with us.  They included us in meals, pool time and life.  When we had our fourth child, we all talked about how we had 1 boy, 3 girls like the Spencers and casually said how we hoped they grew up like them.

Then there were Brent’s small group boys who were the groomsmen and a few of my small group girls who came to celebrate with Stephen and Ashley.  They were all so much fun as teenagers, getting into (mostly) good trouble and challenging us on life and God.  We couldn’t wait to see who they turned out to be too as they grew.

Well, now they are all grown up and this weekend reaffirmed that hope.  The times I cried the most this weekend were the times when Brent and I realized just how much we love each of the people we were reunited with and just how much we really do hope our children are blessed with the family and friend relationships that they all have.  We are blessed to know these people, even more now as they have grown up into amazing adults.

Making Headlines… or something like that April 25, 2009

While Brent and I are away for a wedding in Alabama for and with some very dear friends of ours, our youngest has been busy getting “published” in the blogging world.

Tessa went to one of our favorite local coffee shops today with both sets of grandparents and was photographed and blogged about here.