My husband and I have been working with the poor, the marginalized, the homeless, etc. in our city for a couple of years now. Needless to say, there’s not a lot of money in that. I have often thought that while we certainly have a lot less than those around us (meaning in our neighborhood), that someday we were going to be forced to really experience what it feels like to be one of our friends, as they have grown to be.
Well, today I’ve been feeling like we are getting way too close to experiencing that. When all the checks go through for the bills that have been paid… well. Let’s just say that I started getting nervous, scared, feeling sorry for myself….
But then as I showered and got ready for the day, something started happening. I realized that I have electricity and running water. I have shampoo and soap. I put on make up. I cleaned my kids’ bathroom with store-bought cleaning supplies. I texted my friend on my cell phone. I am typing this out on my computer using wireless internet. My kids are playing Play Station on their day off from school- a safe, clean school, I might add. I was able to not only take my sick baby to the doctor, but I was also able to buy the medicine she needed. And the list goes on and on….
It is so easy for me to feel sorry for myself. But I need to take my eyes off myself and my neighbors and start looking at those in my life who are just happy that they are alive to fight for another day. Because after all, they are all my neighbors too.
mosaic 
This is a constant battle for me. When I get engrossed in praying for and working with the marginalized, I become sickened and angry by all of the stuff I have (and compared with most people, even what I have is . Then, I start looking around and the materialism of others makes me ill. I don’t know what to do with it all. It starts affecting my moods and making me withdraw from people I love (people who have lots of stuff). So, I slowly withdraw from the marginalized side of life again. How do you do it? How do you come face to face with poverty regularly and then return to your comfortable life without guilt?
you don’t.
🙂
sorry, erin. i didn’t mean to answer tritely, just sarcastically, and perhaps truthfully. this is a constant battle for us too. we’re in the middle of trying to figure it out- completely caught in the middle of both worlds. i really don’t know.
i also didn’t mean to post as my husband… that is me in the answer above…
~keila