mosaic

trying to create something beautiful out of the broken pieces

Lent February 25, 2009

Filed under: faith,Life,pieces — kunderwood @ 9:14 am

Growing up a good ol’ Baptist, I didn’t observe Lent.  A couple of years ago, however, (in a Baptist church no less) I went to my first Ash Wednesday service.  Maybe it was because I didn’t know what Ash Wednesday really was (other than my high school friends getting out of school to go get ashes on their foreheads), and maybe it was because it was fresh and new and not a habit to me, I was really struck by it.  Finishing a somber service with someone placing ashes on my forehead while saying the words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return” made it real for me in that moment.  I entered the Lenten season actually excited to see what it could mean in my life.

While it is still a new experience in my faith, I have found it helpful in directing my thoughts and focus.  However, I realize that for others who grew up observing it, it has become stale, meaningless… possibly even a form of pride or resentment.  I don’t mean that in an insulting way- there are plenty of practices that I grew up with that have become that for me.  And I think that’s why I like  this- it gives me a new perspective.

Something that I’ve taken into consideration this year as Lent has approached is the thought- what if I add something into my life, rather than (or along with) taking something away.  My husband has even addressed this over on his blog.

So, not to steal my husband’s question… well, okay, to steal it… are you giving up or adding something into your life for Lent?

 

Labels February 18, 2009

Filed under: Life,pieces — kunderwood @ 4:04 pm

Labels.

I hate them.

So after almost 14 years of marriage, my husband learned something new about me.  Well, it’s certainly not new, but he realized how deeply it affects me.

Apparently he didn’t read the “About” section of my blog.

Recently I had to take one of those tests.  You know, the kind that label you.  Kind of like the “Meyers Briggs Test.”  The kind that ask you all sorts of questions, and then when you are done, TA-DA!, they tell you who you are.

So one of my problems with these tests- other than the fact that they make me say words that would get me in trouble with my mother- is that I want to actually talk with the test maker/giver.  I want to know what they mean by the questions, or the answers, or both.  I sit there reading into them and wondering if I’m answering about who I am, or who I want to be, or neither.

So the other night I sat with my husband trying to take this test on the computer and completely (COMPLETELY) lost my temper.  He seriously asked me if there was something upsetting me.  Yes!  The d*&$ test!!!  I had to explain to him that I was only verbally expressing what always occurs internally while taking those tests… and I think he won’t ask me to ever take one again… at least not in his presence….

But here’s my issue.  (I know- only one?)  I know that the results are public.  And they label me.  There are now expectations out there about who I am, or what I should be doing.  I mean, that was the whole point of having to take the test.  And now I can be judged accordingly.  And fail accordingly.  And apparently, it makes me very angry… but I already knew that.

 

Silver Lining? February 10, 2009

Filed under: Family,Life,parenting — kunderwood @ 1:15 pm

So, I’m going to say it.  I felt a little relief when I found out that Michael Phelps smoked pot.  Don’t get me wrong.  I was disappointed.  I wish he hadn’t.  I don’t want to explain it to my kids if they hear about it.  After all, even Avery points out “Michael Phelps!  Michael Phelps!” every time she sees him.  We followed him closely during the Olympics.

But am I the only mom who’s thinking, “Whew!” ??

I would be lying if I didn’t admit to watching all the interviews with his mom during the Olympics thinking, “She is super-mom!  How do I help my son like she did hers?”  (Okay, if you know my son, you know I don’t mean in any athletic endeavor… but in general.)  I felt a ton of pressure to find his “outlet” and to watch him achieve all of his goals and dreams, etc. blah, blah blah….

Yeah, Phelps screwed up.  And no, he’s not- at 23- a kid anymore.  But you’ve gotta think that maybe after so many years of pushing himself so hard and having all of his time so structured and disciplined that maybe just maybe he hadn’t learned how to handle suddenly having all that down time.

I know I really shouldn’t be finding encouragement in this… but it is a reminder that no matter what we as moms do to raise our kids right and help them make good choices, their outcome isn’t completely up to us.

Oh wait- that’s not encouraging at all…

[I just realized that this seems like I enjoy watching other people’s kids make mistakes.  Dang, I really don’t mean that.  I guess I just mean that I appreciate being reminded that no one is perfect.  It takes off a little pressure…]